Yet, even the most radical Black feminists have typically made plain their commitment to standing in solidarity with our brothers, while challenging the power that patriarchy affords them over us. But to be a Black woman who is for the women? Expect to have your politics weaponized against you, to be told that you are what holds us back, you are what divides us as a people. It doesn’t matter what a Black male comedian, rapper, politician, or scholar says about Black women, his love for his people is unlikely to be challenged. We are encouraged to accept the bare minimum in our romances and express gratitude to be able to love a brother at all-and, somehow, this is supposed to be in the service of a greater Black good.Īs a result of “the Black ass lie,” identifying as a Black feminist is akin to identifying as a hater of Black men in the eyes of many, and disloyalty to Black men is one of the greatest crimes a Black woman can commit.
As the old saying goes, many of us love our sons, and raise our daughters, and we often raise them to think twice before ever dropping a dime on one, even if he’s harmed us greatly.
From girlhood, we see Black men as our greatest hope in this world, as both fierce kings for us to serve and vulnerable princes for us to protect. Furthermore, their oppression does not absolve the men themselves of the power of patriarchy, and it does not prevent them from exerting that power over women and LGBTQ+ people, particularly Black ones.īlack women’s lives are largely colored by these lopsided loyalties. Black men and boys are uniquely disenfranchised on account of their identities-but they are not alone in having such an experience. He’s gonna get the upper hand.” - Deep in the Heart of Texas: Dave Chappelle Live at Austin City Limits (2017)īlack people are not wrong to want to love our men and love them hard. Don’t rush a motherfucker that’s trained to stiff-arm people in the clutch. At the same time, I also believe she shouldn’t have rushed him. If I could’ve froze time at that moment and gave Ray Rice some advice, I don’t think there’s any way possible I’d be like, ‘You should punch her in the face.’ That’s a fucking terrible idea. It’s the most violent thing I’ve seen happen to a woman that was shot in color.
“Anyone see that Ray Rice tape? I can’t stop watching it. “That it might, in many cases, be worse for us,” laments Cooper, “seems to many men a preposterous supposition.” I. In her best-selling Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower, scholar and Crunk Feminist Collective cofounder Brittney Cooper writes, “Black men grow up believing and moving through the world politically as though they have it the toughest, as though their pain matters most, as though Black women cannot possibly be feeling anything similar to the dehumanization and disrespect they have felt.” There is little to no consideration of what those of us who are harmed by misogyny, and maybe hurt even worse, might endure. Many of us hold the biggest space for our men (and sometimes our boys, but rarely at the expense of the men) in our collective hearts because we feel like they need it more than anyone else.īlack America’s version of “the big lie”-“the Black ass lie”-is that Black men have it worse than any other group of Black people. This could just be chalked up to sexism and various other-phobias, but I think it’s deeper than that. But “the Black man” is too often coded language for “the cishet Black man” and the degree to which any and all other groups of Black people are suffering-that is up for debate.